Broke in NYC’s Guide to the July 4th Weekend!

Hello, comrades! Or, perhaps I should say, fellow patriots? Compatriots? …People?

In case you live under a rock, this Sunday is the Fourth of July. You know, the day when us Americans decided we weren’t going to be pushed around by those nancy Brits no more! Cue Declaration of Independence, “The Star-Spangled Banner”, and eventually, Mel Gibson wielding a tomahawk.

Naturally, a federal holiday is more than enough reason for New York City to party hard. This weekend, the city will be awash with parades, fireworks both legal and illegal, as well as five million barbecues. How does one begin to pick and choose, especially when broke?

Well, you’re about to find out. I present to you:

Broke in NYC’s Official Guide to the July Fourth Weekend!

• Macy’s Fireworks: Completely free, and advisable to watch from a rooftop with a view of the Hudson River. I don’t recommend visiting the site, because Justin Bieber will be there, and we all know what that means. You can have all the enjoyment of a phenomenal fireworks display from the comfort of a deck chair. Bring a sixer of Pabst Blue Ribbon ($7-$8, if you go to the right bodega), and you’re set! For those of you not in the city, the display is being broadcast on NBC at 9 PM ET.
• Parades: Complete list of July 4th parades can be found here. Obviously, tickets aren’t needed, and you just kind of show up and watch. Honestly, these are way more fun to watch from a rooftop. It’s supposed to be 97 degrees on Sunday, so avoid street level as much as possible.
• Barbecues: Check with your friends who aren’t fleeing the city this weekend. I’m sure 98% of them are going to someone’s barbecue somewhere. Be a hanger-on, and get yourself an invite. You’ll be able to eat for free! I do suggest bringing a six-pack or other small/cheap item to placate the host, as a token of appreciation. (Pro tip: Dress cute, and charm the pants off everyone. Works every time!)
• What to avoid: Besides the site of the Macy’s Fireworks, there are a few places self-respecting New Yorkers avoid on the Fourth. Don’t go to bars and restaurants. More than likely, drink/food prices will be raised, or you’ll have to order from a special prix fixe menu. Lame. Also, like always, avoid touristy areas like Times Square, the Empire State Building, etc. They will be hot, and full of slow walkers, and you will want. to. kill. everyone. Lastly, don’t stay home. If you have no other plans, go out to a park, bring some snacks, a blanket, a book, and relax! The city will be full of convivial atmospheres on the 4th- go enjoy it!

One more thing: Please be safe! Don’t blow your fingers off with fireworks. That requires a visit to the ER (which is expensive), and then you become one of those nimrod American Fourth of July statistics. Becoming a statistic is like, so 2009.

*UPDATE*: I just got word of a free Fourth of July bash in Long Island City, featuring performances from Suckers, Beach Fossils, and a bunch of other bands. Get all the info and RSVP here!

If you have any other tips/suggestions for this weekend, leave them in the comments!